have you ever thought about how weird sleeping is like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats then spend the next few hours completely comatose all the while hallucinating vividly
my entire life is just a test to see if i’ll commit suicide or homicide first
yabba dabba done with ur shit
How Pokémon Eat Their Food
This is pure perfection
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
(Source: joesphjonas)
*Unemployed^
Let’s go through the list, shall we?
- Stalking Cat was a computer programmer before he passed away earlier this year. He was Native American and trying to become closer to his totem animal. Through this, he helped pioneer all types of body modification and holds several Guinness Book Records.
- Erik Sprague, aka Lizard Man, was a former PhD candidate. He has a bachelor’s in philosophy and is a performance artist: both through international side shows and as a music festival host.
- Maria Jose Cristerna aka “La Mujer Vampiro” (Vampire Woman) is the mother of four children and a fuckin’ lawyer. She started her transformation after getting out of an abusive marriage, and has talked out against domestic violence.
- Rick Genest aka Rico The Zombie is a fucking international model, has more sponsorships than any of us could ever hope, and was featured in Lady Gaga’s Born This Way video. Not bad for a 27-year old former homeless punk, I’d say.
I’m willing to bet you haven’t accomplished nearly as much as any one of these people. They’re not only heavily tattooed, but they’re also impressive as all hell in the “employed” department. But don’t worry about it—feel free to keep trying to make yourself feel better about your average life, average body, and average accomplishments.Successful, employed, intelligent, body mod legends.
